ch 1-5

Dear diary,
Today Scout asked me about my father. I don’t think she understood what was happening or why I blushed when she asked me. I get really sensitive over that, because I do wish that I had my father with me and I really wish that he never left us. But I guess because her father did not leave her and she doesn’t know of any people whos fathers did, she didn’t understand what she was saying or understand what was happening at the time. I know people are going to wonder where my dad went and wonder why I never speak about him, but it hurts when people wonder and I have to tell them. I feel stupid and embarassed. Some people understand though and know what happened to him, like Jem. He told Scout to hush up as soon as the words left her mouth because he already knew that my dad had abandoned me. But I guess there is not anything I can really do about it.
But no body knows the real secret about him. He left us when I was six years old, right when my mom lost her job. He told us that he was going out of town to pick up some food for us because it was hard for us to afford any. The trip was only supposed to take him three days, and after a week we started worrying. We thought he died or something bad happened to him and five months later we got a letter in the mail. He told us he couldn’t do it anymore, living with no money or food. He met some rich women on his way, she took him in and fed him and they ended up getting married. My mom cried for weeks, then one day she finally decided to move on. That’s when my mom got another job. It’s not that best job but its good enough. When people talk about my dad it gets rough for both my mom and I, but I guess we’ll just have to live with it.